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When asked why I still believe in it by friends, I have a wide selection of examples to draw from – and I’ve shared them with you all too.
But recently I got back “on the market,” and reentered this crazy/fun/slightly-exhausting world again.
Since diving into the online dating world over five years ago, I’ve had my share of great experiences.
I’m a “glass half-full” kind of guy, so in my previous posts for Coffee Meets Bagel, I’ve tried to focus on the good that has come from my online experience.
There were a few nice messages along the lines of, Over the next few days, I got more messages, mostly from trolls, men old enough to be my father, or sexual deviants.
– with a couple other people with him/her claiming that (s)he “swears [they] told you that [she’s] polyamorous.” It’s happened to me. We’ve all been there – you think your crush is awesome, reciprocates your feelings…then you get that text. Saying “I had a really great time but…” — the three worst words in the dating world are B-U-T (that is, unless there’s another “T” after the last one) Regarding this final flake, and as I close, I just want to leave you all with a little bit of advice, and a plea.What I came to realize is that trying to find love shouldn't be so difficult.Being beaten down by sexist and hateful remarks by strangers, and I know I'm definitely not the only one this has happened to, shouldn't be the stuff that one should have to jump through to get to the one great guy out there.Afterward, I sat on the couch and waited for about 20 minutes to see if anyone looked at my profile or sent me a message. I felt the same way I do when a commenter gets way too personal or tells me to kill myself over something controversial I've written.
It's like it doesn't hurt you, per se, because that person means nothing to you, but it sort of shakes you that this is how people in the world behave.
If my friend needed me to convince people that he's great, I'd rather go bar to bar all over the Chelsea neighborhood with spikes shoved under my nails than stay on that dating site a minute longer.